You can bemoan your miserable life. Or you can find ways to shine just where you are. All it requires is the belief that you can…”
From “The Happiness Makeover – How to Teach Yourself to be Happy and Enjoy Every Day” by M.J. Ryan

“Poor Me.” We’ve all heard it or said it one way or another: “Poor Me. The world is against me.”

Many physicists believe the future is formed by the choices we make. The present we are dealing with today is the creation of choices and actions we made in the past. When we go through life in a defense mode, leaving the choices of our lives to others through inaction, we are not creating a future for ourselves.

“Poor Me” is making excuses for inaction. “Poor Me” says, “I haven’t been planning and I don’t intend to.” “Poor Me” isn’t taking responsibility for the control we have over our own circumstances and lives. “Poor Me” wants someone to fix it, or do it for them.

If you think the whole world is out to get you, you are not recognizing that some how, some way, you are not providing the world with the proper input for what you want in return.

If you still lament over the disadvantages of your childhood, you are ignoring the fact that, every day of your life, you did not make the effort to take charge and overcome the challenges you were given.

If you are in debt, stop spending. Recycle, reuse, and clip coupons. Make things from scratch. Live without air conditioning. Swallow your pride and sacrifice costly items which are just for show.

If you miss the romance in your relationship, get romantic. Make time for communication, be nice and loving; make compromises, commitments. Be duly grateful for your family, your spouse, children, pets – and their love.

If you want friends, get out and make some – and be nice to them, and honest, and kind, and respectful. Treat people fairly – without judgment – and help them work for their own happiness. Serve others. Research studies show happiness increases 30 percent with greater community action.

If you have a situation you can’t control, an environment, influence, area of life you simply cannot improve – then it’s time to have the courage to make a change.

In her book, M.J. Ryan says, “Unhappiness is often an important signal for change of some sort… Once you get that message, you’ve got a choice – to keep focusing on the misery or to take the actions you can to increase contentment and well-being in yourself and others.”

We are in charge of our own lives. If we are unhappy, it’s up to us to make an adjustment, improvement, change. Change takes courage because it requires work, effort, discipline. Change needs constant pushing; and multiple modifications along the way. You have to take charge, study causes and effects, and be relentlessly on task.

If you’re feeling unhappy about something – you are sending yourself a message to change, and this requires you to give up being a victim and take some responsibility for your life.

So, do you want to be happy? Then, say good-bye to Poor Me.